Oh wait...I'm a runner!

The Baltimore 10-Miler

"I don't feel like a runner today", I said to a friend after crossing the finish line yesterday. I thought I did everything right. I averaged 30 miles a week, did speed and hill workouts, cut out alcohol the week before, carbo-loaded for three days, and made a point to hydrate well. Still, I couldn't pull off the goal I had put on myself.

Every race I have recently completed I have gone beyond my own expectations. I thought I had finally established realistic goal-setting. All my times reflected my ability to reach my moderate time goal of coming under 1:20:00 for this 10-mile race. I even set an aggressive goal of 1:18:00 and a conservative goal of 1:22:30. Did I reach any of these goals? No.

After passing mile 9 in the race, I checked my watch 1:14:00. I knew at that point the chance of reaching my goal was blown. The last mile was almost all uphill, so I mentally threw in the towel and shuffled/walked my way in to the finish line. I was so mad at myself. What was my training missing? More long runs w/ hills?

The temperature was somewhere in the 80's w/ relatively little humidity, though the sun beat down on the roads making it feel even hotter. I invested so much of my effort into making this event a success, can I simply blame it on the weather? I finished with 1:24 something, I don't really care...

"I'm taking an entire week off from running." I said to my doubtful friend. Before this race I was actually looking forward to it because I felt like I earned it.

The next day, Father's Day.

We had a family bike ride planned at the trail, so we packed up the bikes and headed up. I own a trail bike, but I prefer the road; something about a need for speed. My trail bike is in terrible condition due to neglect and a moldy garage; on the other hand, my road bike is like my third child. I brought my trail bike over to my dad's the day before so he could give it a once over and approve it for ride ahead (he's THE bike guy).

Once out on the trail, all was going well until two miles in when my back wheel started wobbling. With my dad and his bike fix-it abilities well ahead I thought I would use my brute strength to pull my dragging bike to catch him and get him to assess the situation. But as I rode on the wheel got worse and then BANG! Like a gunshot, my tube blew.

My sister-in-law agreed to peddle ahead and catch my father and send him back to assist. Luckily my brilliant bike-loving father arrived with a spare tube and pump-- something I take for granted. All I had to do was sit back and let him make my rusty trail bike good as new, sort of. He pumped what air he could in and we agreed the he would continue heading up with the girls and I would head back to the car. He assured me that my tire should get me back the mere 2.5 miles.

Alone, I peddled lightly back south as my wheel continued to wobble. As I rode on, things quickly deteriorated and I was left with a completely flat tire again. Great, now what? Alone on the trail with a broken bike and two miles from where I need to be.

'Wait a minute...', I thought to myself, 'I'm a runner!'. Thinking back to my triathlon days of running the bike out of the transition area and grateful I had my running shoes on, I hopped off my bike and ran it along w/ me. When I came to the first crossroad on the trail, I chucked my bike and helmet, and set out on foot.

On my trial bike, I feel bulky and slow. To be fair, I was riding with kids, so speed wasn't the main focus. But on my feet running, it felt efficient and natural. I needed a blown tire to remind me that I AM A RUNNER!

Now...I guess I should get back out there and prove it.

The greatest metaphor in life--Running

Sometimes running isn't enough. It just can't seem to take me to the point I am trying to reach. I average 30 miles a week and some weeks, though my legs and body are done, my head is begging me to go further.

Running is a metaphor that is so often used as a form of escape. Just as there are many weather references to describe moods and feelings, running is the preferred method of getting away from something. Sure, driving can be too, but something about running makes it a more self-inflicted mode of transportation that is meant to exhaust the mind and body.

Though I am not a big fan of Shakespeare here are two quotes that seem fitting at the moment:

"Bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible"-Julius Caesar

"I will run as far God has any ground" -The merchant of Venice

So why do you run? Is it towards something or away? Is it to energize or torture? How far is too far? How fast is fast enough? What are the limitations and the boundaries?

On the opposite end of the quote spectrum, here is the modern day poet Eminem:

"...when your run is over just admit when its at its end."

Will you know when it is?

Post-run scenario: The lesser of two evils

I just finished running 5 miles through the Reservoir on a very hot and humid day. I always take in my surroundings when I come back from a run. Who is in the parking lot, cars driving by, etc. I am a paranoid person in general,so I always assume someone is out to get me; I think it's why I'm still alive...

I noticed on my return to the parking lot that there is one black car parked off a ways from mine with a man sitting in it. This is not unusual, but I made a mental note of his presence.

I continue to cool down, walking around, wiping the sweat off my face and sipping water. I go to my area where I like to stretch, taking my time, and keeping an eye on the black car.

As I stretch, another car drives by. It's not just any car, but some souped up 70's hot rod with silver sparkles and red trim, needless to say unusual. I track this car as it drives by and the pony-tailed driver eyes me. The hairs on my neck stand up.

This unique car continues as if it's going to pass my car in the parking lot (I am across the street from my car--a good 50 feet) but then he stops, backs up and parks right next to my car so that his driver's door is a mere foot from mine. Why did he have to park so close to me? There is an entire parking lot, and is it really necessary to back in? Hmmm.....

I continue to pace around as if I am still cooling down and take in my options. I could go over to my car, unlock it, and climb in the passenger side, but this seems too obvious that I am trying to avoid this guy, plus it puts me within conversation range. I could go off down the hill and add a couple more miles to my run thus avoiding the parking lot all together and hope he's gone when I get back. Talking to strangers is a bid no-no as a child, but as adults we have to pretend to be fearless and friendly even when our heart is pounding and skin is crawling. I opt for secret option C.

I walk over to the black car with the man who has been sitting there the whole time and, from a fair distance, I say, "Can you do my a favor? Can you keep an eye on that guy" as I nod over in the direction of the hot rod. The guy says "Sure, I got your back...I'll even drive over there." That last little bit seemed a little excessive; I just needed him to be a witness should a crime occur, but I said 'thanks'.

So I walk towards my car knowing this guy in the black car is tailing me and, when I'm in range I wave to the black car as if I know him, unlock my car and jump in quickly, but not before Mr. Hot Rod shouts, "Hey, it's nice seeing you agai..!" I shut my door and lock it not letting him finish his sentence.

As I pull away, it is me tailing the black car as we head out. I follow along thinking that my next plan of attack will be to veer into another neighborhood and let him think I live there instead of turning on my street, but he goes straight where I need to turn anyway. Hey, this guy in the black car may have done me a favor, but he could have just been the lesser of two evils and had his own agenda. You never know...

I say it again, I live like everyone is out to get me, it's why I'm still alive.